Sorry I made a mistake on the last one...here's the actual link :)

http://www.news-medical.net/news/20091027/School-to-college-transition-can-trigger-eating-disorders-in-young-adults.aspx#at

So Mr. Mac actually beat me to my idea when he said to link the stress to the ED...I have to say I'm proud of you for saying tht Mr. Mac! It makes me feel like you actually understand this a little lol. Anyway, stress is very directly related to EDs because it happens that a lot of people who are doing well in recovery may relapse when under large amounts of stress and/or experiencing a transition. Right now, many of us are applying to colleges as seniors in high school which is a transition in itself. There is a lot of responsibility put on our shoulders and for me personally, I feel stressed because it feels like my future is in my hands and if I make the wrong move I can ruin it. But I know that's me "catastrophizing". But I think lots of us can relate to this. Which brings me to the article that I found on google news about the stress of transitioning to college and how that raises the chance of eds. So here's the link to the article...let me know what you think....

http://www.news-medical.net/news/20091027/School-to-college-transition-can-trigger-eating-disorders-in-young-adults.aspx#at

School is very stressful...Mr. Mac is killing meeeeeeee

I was wondering if anyone on here with an ED has a clear idea of what triggers a relapse for them? I'm curently in the midst of a minor-ish one. I say minor-ish because I feel like compared to other times, this isn't so bad. But for where I am now, it probably isn't the greatest. I don't know. I think that some of the things that normally would've triggered a huge relapse are going on but they're kind of manifesting in other ways if that makes sense. I know this happens a lot, but I'm curious to know how it has happened for you guys.
For those who read this and don't have EDs, I apologize if this can get boring. I understand a lot of it probably doesn't make the most sense, so if that happens please let me know and I will try and explain this in not ED terms. The ED jargon is kind of wierd I guess so please let me know! :)

So I was trying to upload my podcast on here. It isn't so great because I say "um" a bunch of times in it but it's basically about how insurance companies suck when it comes to covering treatment for eating disorders. It really is horrible. I have so many friends that haven't gotten the treatment they needed because their insurance companies didn't want to pay. Or they'll pay but they only pay for a certain amount of weeks or just until the patient reaches a certain weight. What these stupid companies don't understand is that the disease really has nothing to do with weight. I mean it definitely plays a part, but restoring or normalizing a person's weight will in no way cure them or make them slightly better. They may stabilize, but that often times makes it even worse on the person. The thoughts will get louder and stronger because how is a girl (or guy) who has spent the last, who knows how long, engaging in the eating disorder that is so deeply ingrained in them, obeying it, being a slave to it, supposed to leave the hospital 15 pounds heavier than they were when they came in, be expected to maintain that when they have no idea how and are scared out of their minds. That is SO dangerous because it triggers those thoughts all over again, and speaking from my own personal experiences, leaving weighing more, made me only that more determined and plain desperate to do absolutely anything I could to lose the weight I gained, and then some, as fast as I possibly could. This can lead to so many dangerous behaviors that can come back even stronger than they were prior to the hospital stay. And these things can be fatal. FATAL. And if you somehow survive whatever hell you are putting your still fragile body through, no matter what your weight may be, then I'm going to guess that 9 times out of 10 they will be right back at the hospital within a week or two. I say this because I've seen it. I remember being in the hospital, seeing someone leave, and then see them back only a few days or maybe weeks later, worse than they were the last time, because they couldn't do it without treatment and support which is so vital in the early and even later stages.
So the point I'm trying to get at is these companies need to realize all of this. And if the only thing that motivates them to change their crappy policies, is that they realize that they actually end up spending much more money on shorter, but more frequent and sporadic stays, than they would spend if they just invested in longer one time stays, then so be it. They need to understand that the REAL work doesn't begin until real therapy begins. And that can only take real effect once a person is healthier and stabilized. But if people are constantly being pulled out of treatment before they can reach stabilization or right as soon as they do, then they have no time to work on the real issues that are causing the eating disorder. And if those things are never dealt with head on, then it will be impossible to recover. And we need to help people recover. It is such a social injustice to have girls and guys suffering with treatable disorders just because they can't get it covered or insured. And this is only considering about all of the people WITH insurance. There are tons more out there who don't have any coverage and can't afford any treatment at all. And that is just as terrible if not worse. Unfortunately, I don't know how to solve that. If I did, I so would've done it by now. All I can hope for is health care reform for mental illness, which would also include all eating disorders.
I will say that I've been very fortunate and haven't had too many of these issues. I've somehow managed to get very lucky and have my insurance cover all of my hospital stays and most of my therapy. They don't cover dietitian appointments though which I think should definitely be added to things health care will cover because nutrition support is also completely necessary in order to recover. But I honestly feel very blessed to have gotten all of the treatment that I needed and still need. Luckily, my treatment has never been terminated because of money, so this has allowed me to take my time and really work on my issues and get better for real. And there is still a lot I have to work on, and I'm fine with that. I'm at a point where I want to face my issues, well for the most part :), because I want to live my life to the fullest and all of that. But I think EVERYONE deserves that kind of treatment-where you are getting adequate care by trained professionals who can really help you dig deeper and ask you the tough questions, but also help lead you back to a life of happiness. It is something I feel very passionately about. I could probably talk about this forever so I will try and stop soon. I will end by posting a link to a site that I think is pretty cool, because it is this organization that is essentially trying to bring awareness to Congress and have bills passed in order to help victims of eating disorders get help. So please check it out and thanks for reading this if you actually managed to read all of this...and if you did, KUDOS to you :)

http://www.eatingdisorderscoalition.org/

Lots to update everyone on!!

I really struggled this weekend. I've just felt really overwhelmed and guilty about food choices but I know what it is related to. And I've learned enough to know that it is not a coincidence. I think I did a good job of ignoring the ed voice but it was really hard. I wish I felt proud of myself but right now I don't and I'm a little annoyed. I wish that these thoughts would go away but I've realized that it's not going to happen. So I'm trying to learn how to deal with them and not give in all the time. It's really hard. Another ting that probably made it a little harder was that this weekend there were lots of holiday festivities. But I do love my kugel. A lot. And I enjoy eating it. So that makes me feel a little worse. As crazy as I know this sounds to people who don't have eds, the little voice gets stronger especially when I enjoy foods because I feel like I'm just asking to ruin everything. And for those of you who do have eds, I think you understand. I just don't want to say the word if that makes sense lol. Anyway, just sitting here trying to let the fullness pass. Night guys...