Grocery shopping is stressful....I struggle not to look at labels even though I know it serves no good. Did that this morning, And we had a cookout at school and I went and was happy to be there, but it made me really nervous once I was about to eat. It felt surreal getting into the line to actually get food. I've never eaten at one of the school cookouts before so it felt like a big breakthrough. But I started to get really nervous and I didn't know what to do. Then I offered my friend my burger but of course they didn't take it And anyway I ate it and enjoyed it. But I felt so guilty afterward and it was hard not having Allison (the dietitian) to text bc shes in Italy for the week. So annoying. But I will say that I'm pretty excited and proud of myself for eating the BURGER, which up until almost a year ago I thought would be the death of me. I'm proud that I was able to overcome my anxiety and insecurities about what people would think about me. I just tried to enjoy myself and allow myself the food just like everyone else. Things like that still feel so wierd. It feels so wierd in such an amazing way to be able to eat what everyone else is eating at a gathering or get together. It feels so normal which I worked so hard to get to for so long. I just can't take tings like that for granted. I feel like a freak sometimes bc I literally will sit there thinking about how different but freeing it feels to eat what I want with my friends. It alsways feels like such a big freeing event. But now that I can do it, I still have horrible thoughts which isn't so great. So after the cookout I had to go home and sleep afterward so I wouldn't think about it and wouldn't purge. I was extremely tempted to and also to exercise but I sat with it. I think Allison would be proud. Thanks for reading!