I really struggled this weekend. I've just felt really overwhelmed and guilty about food choices but I know what it is related to. And I've learned enough to know that it is not a coincidence. I think I did a good job of ignoring the ed voice but it was really hard. I wish I felt proud of myself but right now I don't and I'm a little annoyed. I wish that these thoughts would go away but I've realized that it's not going to happen. So I'm trying to learn how to deal with them and not give in all the time. It's really hard. Another ting that probably made it a little harder was that this weekend there were lots of holiday festivities. But I do love my kugel. A lot. And I enjoy eating it. So that makes me feel a little worse. As crazy as I know this sounds to people who don't have eds, the little voice gets stronger especially when I enjoy foods because I feel like I'm just asking to ruin everything. And for those of you who do have eds, I think you understand. I just don't want to say the word if that makes sense lol. Anyway, just sitting here trying to let the fullness pass. Night guys...